"Curry Munchers!"

The human body can be a mysterious thing, and depending on how far you’ve been through academia or indeed educated yourself, you can unfurl some of those mysteries, much like opening a tuna tin for the first time without using a hammer, when actually using the pully open thingy, the end result can be better appreciated and is somewhat more civilised.

(Just pretend that I’m making sense, and stick with.)

I’m going to assume that anyone reading this is better educated on the topic of human physiology than I am, as just yesterday I was being lectured on the topic by a 5 year old.

Anyway…

The human body has differing sides, and often exploration of one’s own body is a way to be at peace with approaching others, that exploration of self can be a saviour for us when growing up and understanding others and their bodies.

Racists, however, I feel have actually spent far, far too much time exploring, ending with their heads being stuck up their arses.

You see, my dad went through primary in the 60’s and higher school in the 70’s. A man with light brown skin, of medium to tall height, and of good stock. Quite a respectful young chap, and all. Not the kind of person that likes to be the centre of attention, and he isn’t naturally someone that grabs your attention due to his own intended expression, he ain’t no Liberace.

And still, this nice young man would often find himself being passed by people who would hurl abuse and shout things like ‘Paki Basher!’ and ‘Go home, Curry muncher!’

Hurtful, and that was only my grandmother.

Okay, it wasn’t actually my grandmother, but nevertheless, my father’s peers at school were either confused about his commitment to hurting fellow people of Pakistani origin, or they were indeed just rather stupid.

I would have thought that if the pigmentation of one’s skin was such a hot topic for racists, that they’d adopt draconian laws and send their children off to Syria or Moss Side for extermination if they were unlucky enough to have eczema that darkens the skin.

Back to the topic.

Recently, the man dubbed as ‘Britain’s biggest landlord’ sent out an email to his property letters explaining that they mustn’t accept ‘Coloured peoples’ because a particular variant (Curry Munching, piaaz breath, brown people) leave the property with more fragrance, in his own words “because of the curry smell at the end of the tenancy.”

Of course, comments like that from a powerful and rather rich fellow (apparently worth £100 million, or 10 million good curries from Zouk’s) raises certain questions about the society that we live in.

Take cover, for here comes a statistic! The 2015/2016 recorded incidents of racism (England & wales Police) increased from the previous year by 8% to 58,197.

After Brexit, hate crimes have yet again increased, and minority communities all over the country are expressing their concerns and fears.

(If you look really closely, you can actually see that he's eaten all the letting agents that disagreed with him. Presumable without any garnishing of turmeric or Masala, you know, God forbid that anyone accuse him of being exuberant.)

Fergus Wilson seems like the kind of man that considers his friends who describe Asian dress by gasping in surprise and saying “Ooh, how exotic!” as extremist liberals.

The picture of him and his wife sat together puts me in the mind to muse, maybe they’re the kind of power couple that debate selling their children’s body parts if it seems the statistical data shows that the profit from doing so outweighs the profit of their child walking.

And oh Lord, try talking about race with someone of privilege who uses terms like ‘Reverse Racism’ and ‘All lives’ and it’s like inviting a nest of angry bees to frolic with your genitals, though I think the latter is far more enjoyable.

Racism with a contradictory western misogyny (think of Burkas) coupled with the current and historical lack of empathy in society is an inhumane thing.

Worrying over your carpets smelling of curry?

Carrying on with such racist shite-gobbling will land you in hot water. Or in the firing line of many Pakistani uncles with dangerous and concerning kebab breath. *Fergus quivers*

So, ask people to open windows in your flats, instead. Because for your sake that's the way God that will be more likely to open a window for you in to heaven.

Though I reckon Fergus will find that difficult.

In all of these things, ignorance and self-righteousness in defending them is a prevalent factor.

Though, self-righteousness is the sin that I have seen most prevalent in those least worth its disguise.

Like the body, understanding is a thing that has many facets, but understanding in itself is a lever for you to embellish yourself, it ends only in goodness, compassion and empathy.

It’s not okay to say such things, or exact unto others these policies.

Why? Because division is borne of it, there is hate, vitriol and confusion borne of it.

Most of all there is fear, minority communities feel unwelcome in a world that denies them understanding and freedom from what is an increasing prejudice, at the very least you should not deny them housing because they were born with a skin shade that differs from yours.

We’re a nation of curry munchers. Get over it, and get your heads out of your arses.

#Racism #FergusWilson #Humour #Curry